We’re super-responders; our sensory experience of relationship is the equivalent of feeling objects with 50 fingers instead of five.
Energetically sensitive people unknowingly avoid romantic partnership because deep down they’re afraid of getting engulfed.
We need to learn how to work with head, heart, and body.
Or else, they feel engulfed when coupled, a nerve-wracking, constrictive way to live.
If this isn’t understood, empaths can stay perpetually lonely.
The right partner will be understanding; the wrong person will put you down for being “overly sensitive,” and won’t respect your need. Clarify your preferred sleep style Traditionally, partners sleep in the same bed. Because non-empaths may feel lonely sleeping alone, make compromises when possible. Negotiate your square footage needs You may be thrilled about your beloved until you live together. I prefer having my own bedroom/office to retreat to.
However, some empaths never get used to this, no matter how caring a mate. Experiment with creative living conditions so your home isn’t a prison. Ask yourself, “What space arrangements are optimal? I also can see the beauty of separate wings or adjacent houses if affordable.
A way to help with this distinction is to take fifteen minutes a day and meditate — slow down and get present and listen to the thoughts in your head versus the feelings in your body.
Learn to see and feel how they are different because this mindfulness is key to differentiation.
My ideal distance to keep in public is at least an arm’s length. Sometimes it’s rapture being wrapped in his arms; later I may need to be in a room of my own, shut away.
In doctors’ waiting rooms I’ll pile my purse and folders on the seats beside me to keep others away. One boyfriend who truly grasped the concept got me a “Keep Out” sign for my study door! All of us have an invisible energetic border that sets a comfort level.
Identifying and communicating yours will prevent you from being bled dry by others.
Then intimacy can flourish, even if you’ve felt suffocated before.
For emotional empaths to be at ease in a relationship, the traditional paradigm for coupling must be redefined.