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People who aren't in the BDSM world think that Doms and subs are broken people.Subs supposedly have no backbone, have daddy issues. I have two full-time employees and am a bossy boss. We are just expressing darker sides of ourselves the way everyone else probably has some fetish they're afraid to share.Or he won't speak to me because, with the distance, it's one of the only ways I can feel the sting of his decision.

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They couldn't believe that I liked being bossed around, that I allowed a man to hit me.

I explained that in his normal life, Doug would never hurt a woman. One day at lunch I showed my best friend some texts from Doug.

He had a big position with a top financial firm; I headed up public relations for a health-care nonprofit.

On our first date, although we only kissed, he told me I wouldn't be the same when he was done with me.

For now, I am comforted by the scenes I play over and over in my head.

The way he walked into the room the last night and pinched me so hard that I inhaled deeply and tried not to cry out. She got really upset by the controlling things he wrote, like telling me what to wear to work.And when I revealed that he had a wife, she was totally disgusted.He'd joke about making me scream, and I'd say, confidently, "Bring it." Or he'd forward articles or videos of BDSM research he'd done. In a D/s (Dominant/submissive) relationship, you have to trust each other—emotionally, mentally, spiritually. We settled on opposite sofas, and I was a fidgety, nervous mess.While a Dominant, or "Dom," may have the "power," he can only go as far as his submissive, or "sub," will let him. What if I didn't like the pain as much as the idea of it? And just like that, our long-distance, extramarital D/s relationship began.A sub is intoxicated by the surrender—and not because he or she is weak. I know it's weird, but I feel like if I can do that, I can do anything.