What I am saying is that in the beginning phase of the relationship, it’s common for one or both people to have some amount of insecurity and want to go out of their way to make sure the other person really likes them before they let their guard down.
So one of the ways they might see if you like them is to do and say anything they can think of that they think you would like. You would want the other person you’re with to feel secure with you, so that they can let their guard down and be their true day-to-day self (without all the added performances to make you like them).
It can be helpful to look at the initial period of dating as it’s own phase with its own specific qualities.
MORE: Exactly Why Men Withdraw From Relationships For example, in the beginning, both of you might feel a lot of excitement and also an undercurrent of fearful restlessness.
I’ve described this kind of thing as people wearing a pretty “mask” at the beginning of a relationship and how, if you know about this, you’ll make sure to see the person behind the mask (and not mistake their pretty “mask” as who they actually are).
When both of you are convinced that you like each other, you can both “drop the mask” and start acting like yourself, fully.
He would text me things like, ‘I miss you’ and ‘Can’t wait to see you’ and on our second date he said he ‘never liked a girl so much after only two dates’. All this was great, but then he started to shift and lately has been acting really shady- he cancels on me last minute, he’s been acting distant, and I’m just getting weird vibes.
We hit it off right away and during the first few weeks, he seemed super into me.
MORE: 5 Steps to Stop a Man From Withdrawing Men and women both do this, but sometimes it’s harder to see when we’re thinking about the person we’re with.
I’m not saying they’re genuinely interested in you too.
So from his perspective, this is a perfect situation: He still gets to be technically single but also has your ongoing exclusive commitment, sex, and companionship. So if he starts feeling pressure from you for him to get into a relationship with him, he’s going to pull back… It’s because he doesn’t want to be in a relationship…
Or if he feels that the current dynamic is feeling too much like a “relationship” to him (whatever he defines that as), he’s going to pull back. and no amount of asking, begging, hinting, pressuring or convincing is going to change that!
At first, I thought he was just trying to end things, but then from time to time, he’ll text me something really sweet, like about how much he wants to see me, or that he’s been thinking about me, so obviously, he’s still interested or why would he do that?