You have stayed with him although you are not ok with it, his big lie was that basically he could keep his needs at bay, when clearly he can't.
You may find though honest talking that he can't stop and you can't tolerate it.
He's had to hide it so much in life that he's got used to lying too much. But for me it is obvious he is engaging in something that makes you deeply uncomfortable, and that he is constantly pushing your boundaries with regard to his little hobby to the extent that you can only hope he doesn't take it further. Before long you'll be "oppressing" his rights as a transgendered if you so much as make a peep about how much he spends. It is highly abusive and most (not all) of these men are deeply misogynistic. He'd think nothing of spending £200 on getting a crappy dress made.- there was a woman in a nearby town who made quite a lot of money making dresses for men.
It could be kinder to each other to part as friends, accepting that your styles are incompatible.
Act on Lily's excellent advice and engage in damage limitation NOW!
But they said then and there that they would refund it. I've checked internet history and emails and can't find anything but he has been on his laptop and would of deleted any evidence straight away. If it can be proved he's falsely alleged that his account has been hacked/compromised, the bank will have casue to bring criminal charges against him.
The website doesn't sign in through email, it signs in through a username and you can only reset the password with the username as well. I doubt they'd bother for £13 but he may be asked to take his business elsewhere.
I feel sick and lost and I can't talk to anyone IRL. You will know because the bank will refund the amount.......
It may well be fraud but I can't understand the customer service advisor saying to your dp that there would be repercussions if he had lied to them. Banks usually say they will refund if it's a small amount but they do warn you that they will investigate and if they find you were at fault they will regain the money. OP, check down the left hand side of the website, there's a link for "Account Lookup" which takes you through to the credit card processor.What you do about that takes some honest discussion about how you feel.Understandable that you may be turned off by it, it takes a certain type of person who wouldn't be.However the lying is tangled up in the panic here though it does not excuse pushing the lie so far and for me that would be a deal breaker.Only you can decide now where your boundaries are and if you can get past the lie, but like other posters have said, the situation tends to come around in a circle so you may well fond yourself back here again. early alzheimers is a horrible terrible thing to be dealing with or see people going through.Be aware that if the bank tells him to take his business elsewhere, he may find it won't be easy to start over with another. Not necessarily wrong to have them, but wrong to lie that you can control them.