He lent her a sum of money in the past which I think she still hasn’t paid back which could be a factor.I feel that by keeping her in his life, he is being slightly disrespectful to me, as she clearly still has some kind of hold over him for him to put up with this.Now I only have limited information, but in past situations like this women have told me it stems from the fear that he might have feelings for her or that he’s not totally over her.
His other friends and parents agree with me, but I can’t get him see it from any other point of view.
At the heart of the issue, this sort of thing stems from your own fears.
now you’re starting to block their opinion out because it’s none of their business.
Now, I’m assuming you’ve had this experience at least once in your life. And the truth is some of the time the people warning me about a relationship were right…
Then the poor girl would get a text or something from her ex-boyfriend/friend and I would explode into an angry tirade about it.
I regret it – it was destructive and never ever helped my relationship. I handled (because it was my problem, not hers.) The truth is that when I was in that situation, I didn’t manage my fears. It was like, I was so afraid of the idea that she could have been doing something and playing me for a fool that I felt compelled to snuff out any relationship she had that made me uncomfortable.
You’re going to handle it however you’re going to handle it – all I’m doing is sharing my experience with you.
But I can tell you from my experience (both on the giving and receiving end of things), outside opinions are not appreciated.
At some point, he will ask himself: Is this the woman I want to commit myself to?
The answer will determine whether the relationship deepens or ends.
I’m not saying flat out ignore it (though that’s not entirely a bad idea). I can tell you that when I was on the receiving end of this sort of thing, I was not graceful about it. But then it would eat away at me because, in my mind, there is nothing worse than being played for a fool.