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Shelli remembers well the day her husband John called her up to confess his secret obsession with pornography.Years of guilt, shame, and wasted time had finally taken its toll on John, and the emotional dam broke. “It took me by complete surprise,” she says, “I didn’t have any clue that it was even an issue.” But after the shock came the hurt.

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Manning, “how many times I encounter derogatory beliefs about this group of women, beliefs that dismiss the magnitude of the issue and the legitimacy of it, by framing them as pathological, overreacting, and frigid women who need to lighten up. ’” Some women, in fact, have “lightened up.” Not all wives react negatively to their husbands using pornography.Ana Bridges from University of Arkansas’ psychology department says in her own research she has met many women who have justified their husbands’ behavior.“There was definitely a death of all that I thought was real,” Shelli says.“Everything that we had had prior to that felt artificial…that I was believing a lie, that I didn’t know him, and I didn’t know who he really was, and the way he felt about me was a big lie.” John and Shelli Mandeville share part of their story on the documentary .“If he can’t make love to his beloved,” says Reisman, “If he has to imagine a picture, if he has to imagine a scene, in order to actually reach the heights of completion with this person, then he’s no longer with his own power, is he? It titillates with images of sex but cannot offer the experience of real intimacy.

“It’s not because you’re not enough, not beautiful, and that he doesn’t find you attractive,” Shelli Mandeville says.Why would Peter Cook spend ,000 on Internet porn when he could come home to Christie Brinkley?Why would Charlie Sheen be drawn to a digital harem, being married to Denise Richards?Sadly, John and Shelli’s story of a marriage nearly destroyed by pornography and addiction is all too common.In 2002, at a meeting of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, the divorce attorneys present said over half (56%) of their cases involved one party having “an obsessive interest in pornographic websites.” In a presentation given at the Witherspoon Institute, Dr.“It’s so important that women get that.” Easier said than done.