I’m not going to change the general tone or point of the emails but I am trying to ensure he remains anonymous by changing some of the specifics.
Here is my reader’s first email to a girl who was originally from the same area as him Lonestar State What’s up?
I believe I’m great at making almost anything fun…even a boring cup of coffee.
I’d love to have the opportunity to prove that to you.
I love going to the Space Needle, the museums, and Pike Market just to name a few activities. down to earth, genuine, and fun are what I look for in other people. What’s your favorite part(s) about living in the city? I am absolutely in love with Seattle although I’m new here from Houston a few months ago…what’s the best place for someone new to the city to go? I realize this might look like not enough but for me keeping it short like this worked well in first emails.
There wasn’t anything “wrong” in his email but if she replied to my first email that’s when I’d start asking some of those questions. I recently moved to Seattle for work from Texas and I really love it here so far.
That doesn’t mean always planning out involved activities, but like you said, making anything fun. I like to mix up my going out and relaxing nights at home, and always wanted to go sky diving or hang gliding or something along those lines. Starbucks and the Temple of Doom I think it’s really important to make everyday fun.
That doesn’t mean always planning out involved activities, but like you said, making anything fun.
I might include some of it in a later email but if it’s really important I would just add it to my profile.
Likewise, I wouldn’t use the first email to describe your impression of whomever you’re contacting.
With that in mind, I’m not saying his emails are bad.
I just believe based on my own experience they can be improved upon because sometimes we make our first emails out to be more than they should be.
As with the earlier emails, I felt this email had too much of him describing himself and describing what he saw in her.