Friends say: “Leave him.” But she knows it won’t be that easy. He’ll get friends and relatives to feel sorry for him and pressure her to give him another chance.
He’ll get severely depressed, causing her to worry whether he’ll be all right.
I would never let someone treat me that way.” But she knows that the times when she puts her foot down the most firmly, he responds by becoming his angriest and most intimidating.When she stands up to him, he makes her pay for it—sooner or later.I hadn't even taken a shower, and I did not put on an ounce of makeup.I grabbed a worn out black oversized jacket to cover myself with even though it is warm outside.And, depending on what style of abuser he is, she may know that he will become dangerous when she tries to leave him. I feel utterly powerless, and that feeling is my prision.
She may even be concerned that he will try to take her children away from her, as some abusers do.” ― Lundy Bancroft, tags: abuse, abused-women, abuser, abusive-men, abusive-partner, abusive-partners, abusive-relationship, abusive-relationships, domestic-abuse, domestic-violence, emotional-abuse, mental-abuse, physical-abuse, psychological-abuse, psychology “I am living in hell from one day to the next. I entered of my own free will, I locked the door, and I threw away the key.” ― Haruki Murakami “It is fine to commiserate with a man about his bad experience with a previous partner, but the instant he uses her as an excuse to mistreat you, stop believing anything he tells you about that relationship and instead recognize it as a sign that he has problems with relating to women.” ― Lundy Bancroft, “The guarantee of safety in a battering relationship can never be based upon a promise from the perpetrator, no matter how heartfelt.
Has he ever thrown an object that hit you or nearly did? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then we can stop wondering whether he’ll ever be violent; he already has been.” ― Lundy Bancroft, “An abuser can seem emotionally needy.
Has he ever held you down or grabbed you to restrain you? You can get caught in a trap of catering to him, trying to fill a bottomless pit.
One of the basic human rights he takes away from you is the right to be angry with him.
No matter how badly he treats you, he believes that your voice shouldn’t rise and your blood shouldn’t boil. When your anger does jump out of you—as will happen to any abused woman from time to time—he is likely to try to jam it back down your throat as quickly as he can.
It is a national effort carried on by activists, community leaders, and national and local organizations, to raise awareness about dating abuse, promote programs that support young people, and encourage communities to prevent this form of abuse with the goal of decreasing the prevalence of dating abuse among young people.