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“There is no guesswork or dating someone before you realize they are just looking for a good time and not commitment,” he adds.Instead of a typical first date, or a coffee or a hookup, Chaiwala sends his clients on “marriage meetings.” “In marriage meetings there are a minimum of four people getting together, as opposed to dating where two people glam up, go to fancy places to woo each other in what I refer to the human equivalent of the mating dance,” he explains.

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That left two: a calm and gentle vegan photographer from South America, and a sweet Italian who winningly confessed to never having minded children before and not knowing how to use a washing machine. I may not actually be cut out for au pair hosting either, though I still have high hopes for the vegan photographer.

That’s not winning, my husband, returned from his travels, said.

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The benefit of this was that lying to yourself was so much easier. “Not her,” said the nearly-10-year-old immediately, as I examined the photo of a friendly-looking Brazilian. “’I have just enough freckles and I’m never without red lipstick’,” he read aloud. “She doesn’t say anything about liking children.” Her?

“That’s straight off her dating profile.” Before I could investigate this prescient but slightly worrying insight, the 11-year-old was writing another one off. “Her hobbies are making ponytails and watching cartoons!

The stuff about children having pure souls was a giveaway, the children decided.

Then we put an X through everyone who wanted to be an au pair “because I’m not happy with my life”. We sent them an introductory message, and then we were into stage two – hope, disappointment, denial, rejection, hope again.

On it, each person will answer guidebook questions called "101 Questions to Ask Each Other Before Getting Married.” “This way all decisions are made with a cool, calm head and solid relationships are founded.

With no one owing the other the customary one-night stand,” Chaiwala says.

After a bit of messaging back and forth, two of them ghosted me.