You did your homework, wading through dozens of online profiles to find someone you click with.
Then the two of you emailed, talked on the phone and arranged to meet over coffee.
I felt foolish for having gone off to the races so quickly.
For me, this isn't the time for 60s casual morality, and bouncing back from a failed relationship is too painful to just go with the flow.
After a half-dozen dates, I began noticing the cracks in our relationship, and some were too big to paint over.
Spiders don't take their webs down when they've caught their dinner. If I meet a woman, and we date and like each other, what's the next step?
I realized after a brief relationship recently, that I wasn't ready to trust her.
It's cool to feel excited about being with someone new, but suggesting a profound emotional bond right away will be a warning sign to any rational person. And if a first date agrees to the proposition, you're likely headed for a world of trouble: The 1960s have come and gone, and casual sex is no longer a smart way to start a relationship. You might think it sounds sophisticated to tell a woman, "I won't be doing this again because the sexes are equal now" as you open a door for her. Being a gentleman — or, to depoliticize matters, acting polite — has nothing to do with gender equality; it's a gesture of respect. The problem with trying to impress a first date, even if you succeed, is that no one can sustain that performance level.
Most women appreciate good manners and like to feel feminine, and most guys like to reinforce those feelings. Even if you're the second coming of Johnny Depp, planting a surprise kiss on your first date's lips is never a cool move. Worse, it can appear you're trying to buy a relationship. So practice the golden rule of dating: Show the same authenticity you'd like your partner to. Wait until the end of the first date (or, ideally, after it) before you suggest a second.Rejections remind me that no one is everyone's cup of tea. Online dating profiles don't really explain a person, and chemistry requires a face-to-face, so online dating has its limitations.Then there's the issue of dating etiquette, which doesn't appear to exist at all, and since there aren't any rules, dating behavior ranges from polite to rude.When the feeling that something wasn't working for me in my new relationship kept plaguing me, I figured it was time to regroup.She was pressuring me to become sexual and go with the flow, neither of which felt okay with me.Finding a partner is important to me, mostly for the right reasons.