Here are the three common dating fallacies preachers often teach, and here’s why they’re keeping you single.
When I ask many sisters why they’re not dating when they really want a husband, they tell me, “but the Bible says, “He that finds a wife finds a good thing. ” These women are referring to Proverbs chapter 18, verse 3, which has been used in many singles conferences to admonish women into thinking that: The reality is, the “he that findeth” dating advice is based on improper exegesis.
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This was meant to comfort her, but it only confused her because the same people prophesied that her ex-boyfriend was “The One.” They even continued the claim after they’d broken up.
Seven years later and still holding on to that belief in the back of her mind, she learned her ex-boyfriend had moved on—all while she was still praying and waiting. She began to feel like her dreams of marriage and family were quickly slipping through her grasp.
To help these sisters, I had to teach them what I myself had discovered when I was single.
After the disappointment of a broken engagement, a relationship with a cheater and years of no prospects at all, I discovered that much of what we learned in church about dating, men and marriage wasn’t really helpful.My single clients and friends tagged me in the article, blew up my DM and begged me for my thoughts on the piece because they know that not only am I a matchmaker and dating coach who works with black Christian women but also a preacher who has been preaching since I was 17 years old.I decided to share how I help my clients, who have been waiting well into their 30s, 40s and 50s, finally come to understand the truth about what it takes to meet their mate.Andrea was a powerful speaker, who had herself preached the “wait on the Lord” message to women at conferences.She’d also prophesied to other women about God sending them a husband and watched them happily become brides while she remained a bridesmaid.Somehow, someone turned them around and used them to instruct women on how to behave.