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magazine (“Hell, she’s the same white trash she was last week”) or Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (“That girl needs to take some black lessons—seriously! Of course, the 43-year-old stunner could get by just on her beauty if she chose to, but what fun would that be?

She’s sartorially fearless, and can look just as breathtaking in her Cat in the Hat T-shirt and jeans as she does in her one-of-a-kind mirror-encrusted evening dress.

Tracy Bidochka, the dark-haired, hip-banged weekend warrior at Red Door East has been at the Five Points bar for four years and in the service industry for over 15—in other words, she’s experienced.

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“It weighs about 20 pounds,” she once confided to us, after wearing the dazzler for several hours.

Asked about her relationship status, she says, “It is what it is.

“I’m single,” Charmaine shyly admits over the phone….

She wouldn’t be for long if we had anything to say about it.

Though we enjoy our bacon, ribs and Fat Mo’s burgers here at the Scene, we might gladly give up our flesh-eating ways if she’d go out with us. One of her most endearing qualities: “I chew half-pieces of gum because it makes me smack less.

And you get twice as many pieces of gum.” Hot, polite and frugal? Hugh Mundy If you ever have an uncontrollable desire to get Hugh Mundy alone in a room, it’s easy as pie—just commit a felony or two.This 35-year-old federal public defender, erstwhile stand-up comedian and notorious bachelor is saving the world, one lady at a time.“Every time I try to think of something genuine and sincere to say about being a public defender, it sounds like some bit of self-important nonsense Sting would say about global warming or world hunger,” Mundy says.If they want to know, tell ’em to come ask me.” We’re not sure if she’s prepared for the bar fight that may ensue after such an elusive reply, but then again Stephanie’s always ready for anything.Tracy Bidochka There’s nothing hotter than a cute bartender who actually gets your order right.He plays on a team called the Gray Sox, in any position that “will get me off the bench,” he says.