I expect to be doing steezy jumps within the first hour and Olivers by lunch.
Jumping to my feet and exclaiming "I'm ok" to my horrified audience, one of them pointed and I looked down to discover a rib poking out of my chest as a red stain slowly spread outwards ruining my Return of the Jedi t-shirt.
I also discovered that the dog had, minutes before my approach, defecated in my landing spot.
Which for some reason seemed more horrifying to me than the protruding rib at the time.
Accepting the loss of Chewbacca and two Ewoks but attempting to remove my shirt before the bloodstain reached Luke, it caught hard on the rib and I blacked out from the pain.
And, going by the adage 'You get what you pay for' in regards to the level of expertise and customer service skills your staff display, I doubt the wages for 'extra staff you had to put on' would exceed the I paid for the pair of destructogloves.
The three staff members working the day I purchased the gloves, who I will refer to as Fatty, Tatooey and Fuzzy for identification purposes, seemed rather annoyed by my interruption of their 'sitting in a chair looking cool' time.
From: [email protected]: Thursday 20 January 2011 4.18pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Advertisement You bought gloves and ruined them and then you want to exchange them for a diffent pair? Are you going to pay for the extra staff I had to put on to take all the phone calls?
I would actually be more surprised if the local constabulary hasn't got me on speed dial by now.
We had over 5000 calls asking for free snowboards and I know you are responsible. I have been called many things while staying in the US, including 'foggot' and 'youreonthewrongsideoftheroadmoron', but having recently seen my first snowfall and immediately heading out to spend several hundred dollars on snowsurfing equipment, I hardly think the label 'responsible' is justified.
Contrary to popular belief, there is not a lot of snow in Australia and I recently discovered two facts;1. Coming from a climate where the coldest winter demands only complaining slightly less about how hot it is, I am ill-equipped for fact 1.
Unfortunately, these discoveries were made half way up a ski-lift while dressed in jeans, a long sleeved t-shirt and soaking wet rental boots in minus twelve degree weather.